Blood Drive July 1 At Stanford

As the refrain of "I'll Be There" still wafts its ear-worm rhapsody through my consciousness, I dedicate post #300 to an important event and cause taking place tomorrow.

Mr. Mark Alexander, a good friend to yours truly and many of this blog's readers, was critically injured in an accident on June 3.


Our friend, Mark Alexander


I still do not know the particulars, but he suffered numerous compound fractures of both legs and feet. He has undergone several surgeries and will be undergoing more. Only immediate family has been allowed to see him; it will be awhile before he is able to take calls or visitors.


So tomorrow has been set aside, from noon to 7:30 p.m., for a drive on Mark's behalf at the Stanford Blood Center.



If you are healthy, by all means, give blood. Donors: eat, drink plenty o' fluids and:

• Be at least 17 years of age
• Weigh at least 110 lbs (no problem for lots of us)
• Be free of nasty cold and flu viruses
• Bring photo ID

If unable to give blood - you're unwittingly carrying pathogens or take injectible drugs based from bovine products - stop by anyway and hang out in beautiful Palo Alto, as you will likely meet friends.

The amazing thing is that even if you're at the age where you can say "I've got more medications in my bloodstream than William S. Burroughs and Keith Richards combined - and didn't have any fun in the process", you might still be OK to give blood. Call the folks at the Stanford Blood Center and find out. The information numbers of Stanford Blood Center are (toll-free) 888-723-7831 and 650-723-7831.

Mark's friends - and he has been a steadfast, trustworthy and reliable one to many - have set up a blog to post updates, share support, goodwill and prayers.

Music Is Great, But Uber-Fame Really Sucks by Paul F. Etcheverry

In what will be days or weeks of unending media verbiage regarding recently passed pop icon Michael Jackson, I doubt we will see anything more insightful or unsparing than this article by author Cintra Wilson. Originally written back in 2000, this brutally honest but perceptive piece examines the venal "eats its young" reality of mega-fame, that symbiotic relationship between Michael's showbiz life (including a childhood marked by unrelenting abuse) and the immolating cult of celebrity.

As anyone who has loved a intimate partner who endured an abusive upbringing knows all too well, domestic violence can severely mess with a person well into adult life; the pull for domestic violence victims to either re-enact said abuse upon loved ones, seek vilification from others (recalling the Michael-era hit song by Annie Lennox and The Eurhythmics) or abuse themselves in 1000 different ways is magnetic and powerful. It's a truly vicious cycle (in some families, a tragedy passed on from generation to generation), and if your loved one succumbs, absolutely nothing can be done: strenuous efforts to "save" them only make things worse and your relationship more co-dependent.

While one can take the brave and difficult steps to leave a co-dependent relationship or proactively deal with health issues, Michael did not have the option, ever, to walk away from celebrity or entirely escape the papparazzi-tabloids-24 hour media or his own p.r. machine - and it takes truly getting away and off the merry-go-round to begin tackling daunting personal problems.

Sadly, there is no choice: it's confront the demons or be consumed by them.

As far as Michael's music goes, here's an excellent (as well as uncharacteristically un-snarky) piece by the usually swaggeringly vacuous, proudly ignorant and woefully untalented Aidin Viziri that concurs with my preference for the Jackson 5 songs and early solo work; in both his art and life, bigger absolutely, positively did NOT equal better. Personally, I really, really wanted to hear Michael sing Sam Cooke's "You Send Me" simply, sweetly and with feeling - the way he did in his "Frankie Lymon" phase.

Which reminds me of my favorite song he ever recorded:

That said, I believe the response from here is to take a quiet moment of remembrance for The King Of Pop, then get off our asses and actively support living musicians! And I will do just that by attending a live CD recording session by my chanteuse friend Tré Taylor - who never fails to sing simply, sweetly and with tons of feeling - tonight. I'll be there!

Saturday, June 27th 2009
8:00pm – 11:00pm
Tré Taylor And The Dangerous Martini Quartet
Armando's
707 Marina Vista
Martinez, CA 94553
925-228-6985

The Curse Of Frankie Lymon by Paul F. Etcheverry

"I'll never forgive Modigliani for dying so young." Oscar Levant

"There's two basic laws: treat your creativity with humility and treat your success with grace... or you will be in trouble." Quincy Jones

"Tell me why, oh why, oh why, why do they fall in love." Frankie Lymon

Since, without a doubt, everybody and his brother and sister, all around the world, have already blogged about the untimely passing of Michael Jackson, you, dear reader, ask what, pray tell, is The Curse Of Frankie Lymon and how does it relate to the fallen King Of Pop?

Said curse is an inexorable path to tragedy and senseless loss that pre-dates Frankie, goes back to vaudeville legends (Bert Williams), early jazz musicians (Bessie Smith, Bix Beiderbecke) and such silent movie stars as "Madcap Mabel" Normand, Olive Thomas and Rudolf Valentino. The curse has a knack for striking music icons and mega-celebrities, all of whom - Bird, Billie, Prez, Elvis, Marilyn, Judy, Jimi, Janis, Morrison, John, Freddie, Tupac, Cobain, etc. - started with a luminous spark that was beautiful to behold. It is an occupational hazard of child stars and other prodigies in particular.

Which brings us to Frankie Lymon (1942-1968), the post-Sammy Davis Jr. and pre-Michael Jackson kid dynamite wunderkind. He wrote the doo-wop classic "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" at 12, and followed it with several other hits for his band The Teenagers. Here are clips of Frankie, a dynamic entertainer - and more than a tad reminiscent of Michael in his Jackson 5 phase - in his all too brief heydey:





Frankie met the hard knocks of show business, discovered heroin - and that was that.

To say that the territory where pop, rhythm & blues and international stardom meet have been lambasted by the curse is quite the understatement. Consider . . . Frankie Lymon, Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, Otis Redding, Bob Marley, Jackie Wilson. I especially think of the brilliant songwriter, bandleader, arranger, vocalist, lyricist, recording producer and guitarist Curtis Mayfield, who was hit by a lighting rig during a 1990 performance. James Brown alone made it into his 70's.

Never had the pleasure of seeing Michael perform (think I had not yet entirely emerged from my youthful "modern jazz and prog rock snob" phase during his 1979-1987 peak), but sincerely hoped he would, like Brian Wilson and the late Arthur Lee, emerge triumphantly from his troubles and make a comeback. I particularly wanted to see an older Michael revisit the music of his roots - the aforementioned Jackie Wilson, Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke - and just sing those great old songs with all his heart. . . but that's not going to happen.

How To Make Up Lyrics As You Go Along

Make no mistake about it, riffing is fundamental.

To show that adage rather than tell - and continue the thread about Paul Westerberg from the last posting - here's some concert footage from a very early version of The Replacements, playing possibly the fastest, most frenzied cover of Chuck Berry's Maybelline ever. With the full understanding that Chuck Berry very likely improvised his own clever lyrics on the bandstand on many occasions, enjoy this example of extemporaneous verses: the best I've seen from the punk era other than James Chance making up entire songs on the spot with the punk-funk-r&b (spiced with 1960's free jazz) bands The Contortions and James White & The Blacks.




Transitioning madly from old school garage punk rock to the loungiest of swingin' sounds from The Ultra-Lounge, check out the great Bobby Darin. Ever the consummate entertainer, Bobby manages to get laughs, fire up the band, make up verses and knock his signature song out of the park.



Then again, also from the early 70's, I can't help thinking of another consummate entertainer, James Brown. In the original 45 RPM single version of "Make It Funky", James riffs about food, shouting "TURNIPS!" "GREENS!" "HOT CORNBREAD!" as the song closes. While I have yet to find said riffing in any live version of "Make It Funky", this presents as good an excuse as any to post a clip of prime early 70's Godfather Of Soul goodness.

Paul Westerberg - Alex Chilton - Big Star

Since it's state law that I must follow any rendition of the last tune by Paul Westerberg and The Replacements with a genuine Alex Chilton clip, here's Alex, playing an improbable but very nice cover of Rock With You from Michael Jackson's Off The Wall album.

Big Star Live At The Rhythm Festival, 2008

Enjoy this excellent version of "I Am The Cosmos" by Chris Bell (Alex Chilton's songwriting partner in the original Big Star lineup), live from Clapham, Bedfordshire in August 2008. Jon Auer tackles the lead vocal originated by Bell on his brilliant, alas, posthumously released solo album - and does a fine job. Bell's untimely death in a 1978 automobile accident that eerily resembled the one that claimed comedy innovator Ernie Kovacs in 1962, was yet another of those way too numerous tragedies in rock 'n' roll history.

Burt Bacharach Day

This blog pays tribute to Burt Bacharach on the 20th of each month. Today, we also salute an equally inspired composer/pianist/vocalist who first made it big in the 1960's, Brian Wilson, who is 67 years young today. Thankfully, Brian, like Burt, is still touring and bringing good music to audiences around the world.

Enjoy Brian's cover of Burt's "My Little Red Book". It's quite wonderful and stylistically midway between the renditions by Elvis Costello and Arthur Lee & Love.



In retrospect, it's too bad Brian didn't record a cover of this with The Beach Boys. It would have sounded great and fit in beautifully in their 1967 album Wild Honey.

I'd enjoy hearing a cover of this featuring a Brian arrangement, Burt on Fender Rhodes, Brian's current band (featuring "C.E.O of falsetto" Jeffrey Foskett, soaring soprano Taylor Mills, multi-instrumentalists Paul Van Mertons and Scott Bennett, as well as all members of the fabulous Wondermints) and. . . Alex Chilton, another inspired, prolific and original songsmith who first hit it big in the 1960's.

It's not a far fetched idea at all. Alex' first band, The Box Tops, opened for The Beach Boys in the late 60's. The Boys returned the favor by covering Alex' biggest hit.



Then again, Alex is one of the few musicians to cover a song from Brian's magnum opus, "Pet Sounds." Really? Here's Alex and Big Star, performing Wouldn't It Be Nice at Shepherd's Bush Empire on August 28, 2008.



Hearing Big Star rock out on that classic Beach Boys number reminds me how much I would love to hear them cover Burt's "I Don't Know What To Do With Myself". Thanks to whoever found these rare demos and concert clips and posted them on YouTube!

Facebook Has Been Hacked Yet Again

I had an absolutely head-scratchingly bizarre experience on Facebook this morning.

While writing an e-mail message about arcane historical minutiae regarding the 1921 Roscoe Arbuckle scandal, of interest to perhaps two dozen film geeks worldwide, I kid you not, the words "Death To America" showed up on my screen. I did a Jimmie Finlayson-style "double take", said WTF and totally dismissed it as the product of my ever-overactive imagination. Then, a couple of minutes later, there those words were again, clearly, not too big, but in bold type. WTF?

This is too weird even for me.

And it happened as the news of the day was. . . shameless election fraud by Iran's hard-line powers that be (by any definition, a regime that has demonstrated repeatedly that they don't give a rat's ass about the wishes of their own people), led by Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, A.K.A. "The Godfather". With the understanding that Khamenei is the big cheese there - somewhat analagous to Al Davis' Supreme Leader relationship to the Oakland Raiders - and calls the shots, gees, Louise, could you be just a tad more clever about stealing an election than that?

Us pampered and apathethic Americans can only have admiration for the Iranian people, no doubt appalled by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's gross mismanagement of the country's economy (not to mention his general ineptitiude and penchant for embarrassing his nation in public), who have the guts to stand up against the repression of the ruling right-wing cabal.

It is no accident that outside observers are not allowed to even view Iran's election process. Hmmmm - do you think we need a more unsubtle reminder that the necessity to accurately monitor presidential elections in other parts of the world, including right here in the U.S.A, persists?

That tangent aside, Facebook has been hacked, continues to be hacked and will be hacked again. It would certainly be interesting to learn the source of this hack. I'm guessing a young hacker with no girlfriend/boyfriend and lots of time to burn.

And perhaps this also means no more "Welsh Rarebit" for me anytime soon as well. To illustrate:





Maybe I have indeed lost me bloomin' mind (after decades of threatening to do so) and it's time for a lengthy stretch of, in the immortal words of Elmer Fudd, "west and wewaxation at wast."

Happy Birthday, Dino!

Born on June 7, 1917, the great Dean Martin!

Beatrice Lillie And Lupino Lane (as Napoleon and Josephine), Savoy Theatre, 1933

Memorial Day Scopitone Alert

Anti-Social Networking

I have mixed emotions about social networking. No doubt I'll have to wear orange jumpsuits at the re-education facility for the untrendy by having no desire to Tweet/Twitter (besides watching Tweety Bird in A Gruesome Twosome). An onslaught of crass advertising plus a most user-unfriendly interface drove me away from MySpace. While I like Facebook, I discontinued my account for awhile.

There's a lot to like about Facebook - it's fun to think up bon (or not-so-bon) mots for the news feed, watch video clips chosen by movie buff friends, swap quips with far-flung contacts and receive all kinds of virtual stuff (movie posters, Parliament/Funkadelic albums, knishes from Brooklyn, Django Reinhardt references) - but the sense of lost privacy and potential for social subterfuge trouble me. It's remarkably easy to broadcast personal information publicly on Facebook . . . and that makes me remarkably uneasy! Although social networking websites are not meant to substitute for direct communication (A.K.A. in-person conversation) with our loved ones, dang it, we homosapiens are fallible, flawed creatures and do this anyway.

Christine Hassler said it aptly in her April 29, 2009 Huffington Post column:

"The internet makes it conveniently possible to avoid uncomfortable face to face interactions or phone calls. But that doesn't make it right. We're all still human beings and owe each other the dignity of not taking the easy or lazy way out when it comes to a conversation that may be difficult. All of us are becoming far too reliant on our gadgets and starved for real human connection."

Illustrating the last point is the following very funny piece about antisocial networking behaviors, as well as a clever spoof of that 1950's classroom staple, the Coronet Instructional Film.


And I can't in good conscience end this blog entry without serving up the real deal, a genuine 1953 Coronet Instructional Film, just the sort of thing that those readers who have attended the KFJC Psychotronix Film Festival have sat through more than once.

Celebrate A. Conan Doyle's 150th with Gene, Madeline, Marty and Duck Twacy

Today marks the 150th birthday of the incomparable Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fabulous Sherlock Holmes and the only slightly less fabulous Dr. Watson (no relation to Johnny "Guitar" Watson).

Today, this blog celebrates said birthday with comedy, so enjoy three great comedians, Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, Marty Feldman and the fellow Mel Brooks said was the funniest guy he ever knew, Dom DeLuise, in the coming attractions for The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother.



Is it possible to top that quartet and get a Sherlock Holmes reference in? Well, it's conceivable to at least equal them with this Looney Tunes piece de resistance, produced in 1945 by director Bob Clampett and ace animators Manny Gould, Rod Scribner, Bob McKimson, Bill Melendez and Izzy Ellis. And while, yes, I am aware that A. Conan Doyle had nothing to do with Dick Tracy whatsover, there is a Sherlock cameo at 3:41.

Burt Bacharach Day

My Thief is another inspired collaboration between Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello: great melody, signature Burt harmonies and Elvis' vivid lyrics.



And that wondrous vocalist on the coda (enters at 3:51), in case you're wondering, is Lisa Taylor.

The Next Philosopher Guru Returns by Paul F. Etcheverry

Found hastily scribbled on dilapidated foolscap in the back of an abandoned 1995 Ford Taurus in Hoboken, New Jersey, the sometimes trenchant observations of Al Confucius Johnson, philosopher, slacker, beer drinker:

"The superior man is correctly firm, and not merely firm, but has a prescription for Viagra waiting at the pharmacy nonetheless."

"When anger rises, think of how much diabolical fun revenge can be!"

"I want you to be everything that's you, deep at the center of your being, until it's inconvenient."

"He who will not economize has one big-ass check coming from the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP)."

"You cannot open a dirty book without learning something."

"Everything has its beauty but undergoes plastic surgery anyway."

"Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue, but sell snake oil, derivatives and political parties exceptionally well."

"He who speaks without modesty will get laid."

"Those who neither speak slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are . . . pretty much impossible to find in this life."

"The superior man thinks always of virtue; the common man thinks of comfort. The common man sells the superior man a La-Z Boy at 15% off."

Musicians In The Movies: The Philharmonicas Play Raymond Scott

Continuing the "harmonica obsession" thread, here are The Philharmonicas, playing an amazing cover of Raymond Scott's "Powerhouse" in The Dipsy Doodler (1940), a Vitaphone Melody Master musical short starring Larry Clinton (no relation to Bill) and His Orchestra.




What I want to know now is where to find a clip of Jean "Toots" Theilemanns performing Thelonious Monk's finger-and-brain busting "Skippy", a Mount Everest for musicians!

Cruel And Unusual Comedy

Billie Ritchie (1874-1921), creator of the most psychotic comedy "star" in the history of movies.


Refusing to devote today's blog entry to the recent passing of larger-than-life, ever-expressive and often damn funny "fat comic" Dom DeLuise, I will instead plug a must-see event for movie buffs and classic comedy geeks: the Cruel And Unusual Comedy film series at The Museum Of Modern Art. If you're within a reasonable distance of the museum (and have as sick a sense of humor as I do), this presentation by Silent Comedy Mafia dons and MOMA historians is not to be missed!

Among the celluloid rarities: one of the very few existing comedy shorts starring the aforementioned Billie Ritchie, star of more than 50 films produced and/or directed by the guru of slapstick comedy excess, Henry "Suicide" Lehrman. Billie, a veteran of England's celebrated Fred Karno troupe, plays the contemptible anti-protagonist of the 1916 L-KO comedy Cold Hearts And Hot Flames, which will be screened in the mayhem-filled Gratuitous Violence program on the evening of May 27. Watch it and decide for yourself if Mr. Ritchie lives up to his rep as the slimiest starring character in the history of comedy films!

Stan Laurel in drag in "Get 'Em Young" (1926)

And, even if you live thousands of miles from New York and can't go, check out these superb program notes.

Musicians In The Movies: The Fabulous Borrah Minevitch And His Harmonica Rascals, 1936

The song is "Limehouse Blues" and the references to other songs within the four minutes are many.



Now that's entertainment and I sincerely hope to land a film print of a Borrah Minevitch And His Harmonica Rascals Soundie someday!

Too bad the concept of conductors didn't make it into the rock era (although one could make the argument that such bandleaders as Pete Townshend and David Bowie were, indeed, conductors). The idea of someone like Borrah Minevitch having a bit of fun conducting onstage with, for example, Ray Davies, Jeff Beck, Ron Wood, or even better, Syd Barrett, would have been . . . interesting, to say the least.

Dancing To Save Your Sole - Or, Oops, I Mean Soul!

Back in Pre-Code musicals land again, here are Nancy Carroll, Al "Rubber Legs" Norman (who enters at 3:48), The Abe Lyman Orchestra and high-stepping showgirls, giving their all to a peppy production number from Paramount On Parade (1930).

R.I.P. Frankie Manning (1914-2009)

I absolutely, positively can't stand being the "R.I.P. Blog", but, alas, the incredible Lindy Hop dancer Frankie Manning - a truly awesome talent deserving of more recognition - just passed away at 94. Frankie, a great artist like Bill Robinson, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse, taught swing dance into his 90's. Here he is (Frankie's the mechanic) doing amazing acrobatic moves in Helzapoppin', as part of the jaw-droppingly great Whitey's Lindy Hoppers troupe.

Guinness Gives You Strength!

Still More Beer Ads: Featuring The Fabulous Hamm's Bear

Here's one of my favorite commercials, starring the immortal "Hamm's Bear" (of course, he's immortal - he's a freakin' cartoon character), from the land of sky blue waters (waters)."











Too bad cartoons were considered to be for kids in the 60's, since Yogi Bear (Ed Benedict design) would have been the perfect animated spokesperson for a delicious frosty brew! And if marijuana had been legal and advertised on prime time TV, Yogi would also have been a fantastic plugger for what the great Louis Armstrong dubbed "New Orleans Golden Leaf". Yogi would have been WAY less expensive than Satchmo, Bob Marley or Peter Tosh and almost as entertaining.



Just imagine: "hey BooBoo, pass that pipe over to me, heeheehee. . . I'm as hungry as a bear, hey hey hey, maybe we could have some simply scrumptious Kellogg's OKs!"

More Beer Commercials

Beer Commercials With Nichols And May

This blog wishes Elaine May a happy birthday and salutes her many contributions to the comedy universe. These Nichols and May ads for Jax and Narragansett Beers are right up there with the Bob & Ray commercials for Piels Beer.





Although, come to think of it, my favorite beer ad ever is the 1961 beaut with beer cans sitting in a stream while the jingle rhapsodizes, "refreshing as springtime, Old Milwaukee beer!"

Burt Bacharach Day

Scopitone Alert!

Big thanks to Dash Riprock (A.K.A. "Ross The Boss", "Our Man In Thailand") for this early 60's French Scopitone singing the praises of "copacabana". Obviously, Barry Manilow's agent asked the Scopitones people for too much money. And that's just as well.

Saturday, April 18, '09: The KFJC Psychotronix Film Festival Returns

Indeed, it's true - the KFJC Psychotronix Film Festival returns, against all our better judgment, to the hallowed halls of DeAnza College (Foothill College, our home from 1992-2008, is still closed for renovations).

KFJC Psychotronix Film Festival starts with such pungent ingredients noted in Michael Weldon's "Psychotronic History Of Cinema"(the encyclopedia of grindhouse B-films) as monster movies, horror films, science fiction and rock 'n' roll musicals, and adds the unintentionally funny educational films seen on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. And we then throw in a whole mess more spices - vintage TV commercials and theatre ads, cartoon rarities, double-entendre packed pre-Code comedies, Soundies, Scopitones, silent movie clips, kidvid gone wrong - to the gurgling pop culture cauldron.



The first half of the show focuses on short films. Among other things, we have included trailers from truly wretched movies, well-meaning 50's educational films, schlocky drive-in movies with guys in stupid-looking robot and gorilla suits, Pre-Code cartoons, Japanese monster epics, all kinds of obscure musical shorts, serial chapters, WWII-era puppet animation, unintentionally funny ("craptastic") made-for-TV Synchro-Vox cartoons - and more. I'm not kidding, more.



The festival is a reaction against all rules of film programming. We aim to be as all over the map as humanly possible ("And Now For Something Completely Different" would be the credo), as opposed to concentrating on one genre, series or director.



The weirder, the more obscure, the lower the budget, the more under-the-radar, the more the audience responds with a WTF?, the better. If a subject link or a Monty Python-esque visual or verbal link can tie together the segments, great, but this is not absolutely necessary. We also improvise the show in real time; archivist-producers Bob Ekman, Scott Moon and myself essentially create this cinematic cornucopia on the fly, responding to audience reaction and that sense of what film selection will or will not work in that moment.

The next KFJC Psychotronix Film Festival will occur on Saturday April 18, from 7:00 PM to 11:30 PM, in the Forum building on the DeAnza College campus. There will be a $5 donation which benefits KFJC 89.7. You'll also need $2 for parking.



Rob Emmett, host of KFJC's "Norman Bates Memorial Soundtrack Show", emcees with aplomb and bon mots to spare. We also hear that Mr. Lobo and Ernie Fosselius from Cinema Insomnia will be on hand for the festivities, as well as to help give away cheesy door prizes at the intermission.

More Vitaphone Vaudeville With Shaw & Lee

Mound City Blue Blowers, 1929

If you enjoy this and want to see more of these one-reel musicals from the dawn of "talkies", there's a whole DVD of 1926-1929 Vitaphone Varieties on the Al Jolson: The Jazz Singer - Three Disc Deluxe Edition. And check out The Vitaphone Project for more info on these historic musical shorts.

Easter Offering: A Swedish Musical Excerpt

What would Easter be without a production number from Brokida Blad (produced in 1930, released on New Year's Day 1931), the Swedish attempt to create an MGM-style early talkie musical on a miniscule budget? This blog's favorite Swedish flapper, Vera Nilsson sings "I Love You My Darling" and does her gosh-darned best to be perky n' peppy. Could only be better if the indescribably bizarre American-born Swedish dialect comedian El Brendel was there doing something really, really goofy.

One Of Our Favorite Flappers: Zelma O' Neal

Ernie Kovacs Is My Guru

Bill Watterston = Nostradamus

I extend a stylish tip of the Jimmie Hatlo hat to Lazy-Eye Raspberry Kennedy for sending me this prescient 1994 cartoon by the great Bill Watterston. Although, come to think of it, the current version of Calvin would charge 1500 bucks for the 6 oz. glass of lemonade, call those who choose not to pay that much "losers" and the accurate phrase for the final panel would be "I demand to be subsidized".

It's April '09 - Play Ball by Paul F. Etcheverry

The major league baseball season commences today, and as one of that species known as the San Francisco Giants Fan – a punishment-loving cult after the Marquis de Sade’s own twisted heart – I have no choice but to devote a blog entry to MLB. So once a year, I do boring Giants talk, only of interest to that select but ever-masochistic breed.

I found myself with a lifetime membership in said breed by witnessing the likes of Willie Mays, Juan Marichal, Gaylord “The Dry Look” Perry, Willie McCovey, Bobby Bonds (Barry’s dad and the Alfonso Soriano of his day), Joe Morgan, Jeffrey "Hackman" Leonard, “Will The Thrill” Clark, Kevin “Boogie Bear” Mitchell, Dave Dravecky, Rod “Shooter” Beck, "Rapid Robb" Nen, Matt Williams and even the loathed but highly skilled, unbelievably focused, fierce and fiercely competitive Barry Bonds (and more) do amazing things in a misbegotten, cold and windy baseball park named Candlestick decades ago.

First and foremost, it doesn’t matter to me that the Giants sucked donkey baby makers for the last four seasons. Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a crap! In matters of romance and baseball, hope, even totally unsupported by evidence, springs eternal. Only in the former does it not spring quite as often as the decades march on (although, come to think of it, the equivalent of Viagra and Cialis for devotees of unrelentingly wretched major league baseball teams could definitely make big bucks for big pharma). And the Giants, ladies and gentlemen, have the 2008 Cy Young Award winner, hard-throwing mighty mite Tim "Lights Out" Lincecum. It'll be worth going out to the ol' ballpark just to see Timmy throw heat.

To address the faint but undaunted hopes of Giants’ fandom, here’s what I’d like to see in the 2009 season:

• Pablo Sandoval plays a decent third base and lives up to his nickname of "The Round Mound Of Pound".


• Left fielder Fred Lewis improves his defense and hits .290+ with some pop (90+ RBIs).


• Travis Ishikawa plays superb defense at first, proves can he hit big league pitching and slams a few dingers out o’ the joint in the process.



• The clutch-hitting, slick-fielding Edgar Renteria who personally annihilated the Giants in the 1997 and 2003 playoffs, not his over-the-hill identical twin who played so badly in 2008 that the Detroit Tigers made no effort to re-sign him, is the one we get in a Giants uniform. If the Giants end up with the latter, trade him at mid-season, move Manny Burris to shortstop and give Kevin Frandsen a shot at second base.


• Manager Bruce Bochy rests Aaron Rowand at times, whether he likes it or not. And Aaron, don't worry about hitting homers (you and most MLB hitters won't get many in the cavernous dimensions of A T & T Park), just play a solid center field and hit for average the way you did for the Phils and White Sox.


• New relief pitchers Jeremy Affeldt and Bob Howry do something the horrid "arson squad" bullpens of 2006-2008, with the exception of Brian "Don't Call Me Beach Boy" Wilson rarely did: actually hold a lead.


• Among the very few worthy holdovers from the ‘08 pitching staff's horrific relief crew, Sergio Romo and Merkin Valdez, return from injuries, protect leads - and kick ass doing it.


• Should the crosstown Oakland A's wuss out and trade Matt Holliday at mid-season (instead of signing him to a long-term contract), deal him to the Giants!
  


• Find Manny Mota and arrange for him to have dinner with Rich Aurilia. Since Richie's going to get plenty of chances to pinch hit with the game on the line, have the veteran Giant talk pinch-hitting strategy with the best, as long as Manny isn't working for the Dodgers.
  



• Someone teaches Barry Zito the Don Sutton variation on the "cut fastball". No straight-as-a-string fastball means 15+ wins for Barry in 2009.


• Note to Matt Cain and Barry Zito: pitch inside! Yes, that means throw at guys. A.K.A. channel the confrontational "just try and hit this, sucka" spirit of Sal "The Barber" Maglie or the fearless Bob Gibson.

• Note to position players: score some runs for Matt n' Barry this year, PUH-LEEEZ!
  

PLAY BALL!

Kitten On The Keys World Premiere

While I'm unquestionably a week too late with my blurb, I strongly encourage the San Francisco Bay Area readers of this blog to get their collective derrieres to Mama Calizo's Voice Factory this weekend to check out Kitten On The Keys' one-woman show.

Kitten did a fabulous turn at last January's Pre-Code Follies extravaganza with her charm, good humor, "Punk Rock Betty Boop" persona and genuine tunes from the Roaring Twenties. She will be hitting the footlights Friday, Saturday and Sunday, no doubt with outrageousness, numerous one-liners and wonderfully goofy original songs.



To quote Kitten's press release:

"San Francisco's own Kitten On The Keys (A.K.A Suzanne Ramsey) is a frisky one ma’am band. Her new one woman musical: Does This Piano Make My Ass Look Big? follows the hi-jinks of a dorky suburban girl who is insecure, addicted, and socially impaired. Her life changes for the better with the discovery of punk rock and a burlesque rock & roll lifestyle.

This world-premiere romp replete with sequins n' sass, told through original songs (written and performed by Kitten) and video,
will tickle your funny bones and stir your nether-regions. Kitten on the Keys is a little Judy Tenuta, Mae West, and a dash of Shirley Temple optimism rolled into one perky package. She writes all of her own material and plays the piano, accordion, and ukulele."




Sounds like tons o' fun for grownups who have decided NOT to get stodgy, conservative and old. Get out to Mama Calizo's and support local theatre!

Does This Piano Make My Ass Look Big?
A limited engagement
co-directed by Dwyane Calizo & Suzanne Ramsey
Friday and Saturday at 8PM, Sunday Matinee at 2PM
Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory
1519 Mission Street (Van Ness & 11th Sts.)
San Francisco 94103.
Tickets are $15 & $20 (no one turned away for lack of funds) -- and available at the door or at Brown Paper Tickets.
NOTE: Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids and this show's for adults!

Download These Cartoons

While admittedly, this blog tends to focus on films that were made many decades ago, today I’ll get my consciousness out of 1933 movieland and call attention to some present-day animation.

Nina Paley's Sita Sings The Blues is an imaginative and highly original animated feature. This winning combination of Hindu lore, the 1920's music of Annette Hanshaw and inventive Cartoon Modern graphics can be downloaded off Nina's website, and is still available in a high-res download from WNET-13 New York. I also support her efforts to establish alternatives to conventional distribution channels. Here's the trailer.




Mark Kausler's It's The Cat is that rarity, a cool animated short with genuine old school verve and style. Mark and collaborator Greg Ford (another outstanding animation historian) have hit a grand slam in the cartoon universe. View and download it here. Mark knows more about animation history than just about any of us and has been a friend, mentor and supporter to many (including this blogger). I had a chance to see the pencil test for the followup to It's The Cat. This will be another fantastic cartoon in the classic spirit and I much look forward to the finished film.

This blog also suggests checking out Henry Selick's Coraline; yes, that means going out to a movie theater and enjoying its visual splendor on the big screen. As Coraline is reaching the ending of its theatrical run, go now; the 3-D version was yanked out of many theaters over the past week. Don't wait for DVD on this one.



It's important to support those intrepid independent film makers who are living among us.
To paraphrase a blog ebntry In an ideal world, we'd get a new cartoon by animation treasure Mark Kausler at least once a year.

Sadly, it looks as though Some Other Cat will likely be his last. There's no way of recouping the cost of an independent animated film done in traditional ink-and-paint in this day and age, he says.


Like its predecessor It's the Cat, Kausler has created a sincere love letter to the cartoons of the late silent and early sound eras, particularly those "drawn" by Bill Nolan, the animator credited with defining the rubber-hose style of movement.

As in those black-and-white cartoons, colorful surprises are abound in Some Other Cat, as when Itza randomly produces a jackhammer to use on his rival's tongue or when the characters become fully rendered backgrounds.

The pure spontaneity of Kausler's creation Itza Cat (an obvious nod to the animated Krazy Kat of the late '20s) in sync to a prerecorded track, though, mostly evokes the best Fleischer cartoons, only moving with a grace and intelligence befitting of a learned master who's lived and seen it all.

The film isn't available online, but you can see it if you buy artwork directly from the filmmaker.


"Of course it's possible to do shorts cheaper with computer software, but for me that's not good enough," he said to me. When you take a look at the gorgeous line work in person, you'll immediately see where he is coming from.

Kausler has written that the film has been positively received wherever it has played.

Burt Bacharach Day

If the complete Elvis Costello-Burt Bacharach (and orchestra) performance from Sessions At West 54th was available on DVD, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.

Happy Birthday, Jerry Lewis

It's cool to write a happy birthday blog entry about someone who's actually still living. Happy 83, Jerry - and thanks for the laughs!

One way to celebrate is to fire up my own fairly recent blog entry featuring two great "Rockin' Jerry" clips. Another is to check out the entertaining interview Peter Bogdanovich conducted for the Pinewood Dialogues series by The Museum Of The Moving Image on November 22, 2008.

A third way: watch yet more of what Jerry does best. Here he is, improvising his unique style of wacky mayhem on The Colgate Comedy Hour.

Louis Armstrong And . . .

Decades before celebrity duets would become a fashionable marketing gimmick, Satchmo cuts it up with Danny Kaye in The Five Pennies. Just disregard the fact that Danny is essentially portraying himself here (Red Nichols, subject of this biopic, dubbed in the cornet parts) - and enjoy. And I'll bet the best stuff from this shoot ended up on the cutting room floor.



Even more wonderfully, here's Louis playing Blue Yodel #9 - which Satchmo recorded in Hollywood with country & western icon Jimmie Rodgers back in 1930 - with Johnny Cash, as special guest on his ABC prime-time music program on October 28, 1970 (episode 38).





I watched Johnny, Glen Campbell, This Is Tom Jones and ABC-TV's In Concert religiously as a young music geek in the early 70's. I'm thrilled that Johnny's top-notch program has finally made it to DVD.

Louis Armstrong, Ghana, 1956

Check out the way these guys rock in the latter part of this clip, at 3:18, after the Edward R. Murrow interview segment.